so i’m here.
this place is utterly adoreable. it reminds me so much of austria, and the cute little hotel we stayed in. i love it.
my german is getting better, though i can understand more spoken than i can actually speak, but i try. trouble is i get a little bashful about it so i don’t say much, especially if i’m feeling tired which i have been because of stupid jetlag. i’d say i’m nearly over it, but we’re just always on the go so i end up sleeping heaps at night and then of course waking up at random hours and feeling wide awake.
patrik and i are amazing. he’s completely fabulous. i don’t think there is much else to say about that. it’s all that i’d hoped it would be and then some. alles gut!
today is christmas in germany. they celebrate on the 24th. it’s cool. i’ll get a proper birthday tomorrow. today we’re jumping around from house to house eating, churching and christmas presenting.
it seems as though my laptop is determined to fight with me so i haven’t been able to use it, nor have i been able to unlock my cell phone. i got a sim though and will probably just use an old phone of patrik’s. it’s ok…being incomunicado is pretty sweet and i find that i am not missing cyberland really.
anyway, can’t write too much more, gotta go have some frühstück. ta!
deliberate with caution, but act with decision; and yield with graciousness, or oppose with firmness.
— charles hole.
if you have butterflies in your stomach, ask them into your heat.
— anon.
can’t sleep. too excited.
i keep going over the proper way to ask for a cup of tea in german.
i cleared my visa and i have travel insurance, now all i need to do is laundry and then… lift off!!
i emailed him back.
sure, you might think that it was stupid. maybe its just a sign that i have an obsession for drama…though i can assure you, i don’t
i figured we’d been together for three years. three years of my life. that is kinda long. and if i can’t return a cordial holiday greeting after three years of ‘love’ then what kind of person does that make me.
i tried to work out pros and cons.
pros…
- i knew it would put my mind at ease.
- i have an unbearable desire to be nice to people. i can’t stand being rude. and i can’t stand to think that what he did to me changed a vital part of who i am that i am actually proud of.
- it’s nice to be nice.
- kill him with the kindness he’s missing so much.
- be the bigger person who isn’t phased by an email.
cons…
- it might seem like i’m trying to communicate something to him/giving him attention/holding on.
i know that the con is not correct. i know where i am going and who i am going there for. firstly i am going for me, secondly for patrik. and i do care about him so much. i have moved on. i suppose saying something or not saying something communicates that fact and writing him back is in all honesty the nicer thing to do rather than ignore him.
and…the most important thing of all, i asked the all mighty, all knowing for advice. she agreed that i should send something…thanks for the clarity, mom.
anyway…
Hi Dan,
Happy Holidays to you as well.
I am sure you and Wanying will have a lovely Christmas together.
Please send my regards to your family for their kindness, acceptance and hospitality over the years.
Cheers,
Sarah
BOOM, POW, WHACK! yeah the second line may have been a bit below the belt, but it’s true, i’m back at the point where i genuinely hope for his happiness. certainly not more than i hope for myself, but still.
and ya know what i do feel better. i did want to write back. yeah he was a pure twat to me, but that doesn’t mean i should turn around an be a twat myself. it’s nice to be nice.
